Hamster gone wild

Call to vet: My hamster went ferrel for a couple of months, and now it's out of control. How can I keep it from charging?

Receptionist: You can't. It'll probably attack you and may end up killing you. I'll get the vet.

Vet: Take away it's credit card! Bud-ump-bump!

I found my hamster!

It took awhile for it to dig out from all that snow, but I got it back!

Antlers

Call to vet clinic:

Me: You know those fake reindeer antlers that people put on their pets?

Receptionist: Yes.

Me: Do you make those in hamster size?

Receptionist: Hold on, I'll get the vet for you.

Snow sculpture

Call to vet: I want to make a snow sculpture of my hamster. How long can I keep my hamster outside before it freezes?

Vet: Take it inside when you see its lips turn blue.

Gas

Call to Vet: "My hamster has gas; can I relieve it by squeezing it? Mainly I want to know whether it will go "ppbbththth" or "POP!"

Vet: "Just don't use your car tires to do the squeezing."

Amnesia?

My hamster doesn't seem to recognize its name. I think it might have amnesia.

Nightmare

Whoa. I had a nightmare where I couldn't find my hamster and then in walks my cat wearing a single fur slipper on his hind foot. I still have to keep telling myself it was just a dream.

Ok.

Ok.

I'm going to check again just to make sure.